Isn’t it funny how you don’t realise you miss something until it is gone?
I don’t really intend for this blog to become a food blog as I find the process of writing out the recipe and taking all the photosa bit tedious – but the goumet garden competition is a bit of fun.
However I have discovered that I miss writing – miss the feeling of my fingers flying across the keyboard spewing forth the words as they leave my brain.
I have always found that I can get my thoughts out on ‘paper’ via the keyboard much much faster than on paper. When I was at university I couldn’t physically write out assignments or essays as I would have a thought and if I couldn’t get it on the page fast enough the thought would be gone.
Oh the excruciating feeling of have a brilliant thought about what should go in the next paragraph, the perfect combination of words and structure, only to have it dissapear while you sit there thinking about how brilliant it is.
It is interesting that I like writing so much given that I don’t think I could ever write a book – well not a novel at least. Yet I do love constructing more technical writing like reports and speeches.
I also enjoy picking apart writing – I think that being an editor would be more up my stream than being a writer.
I think that writing about all of the things that go on in my head has been wonderful therapy for me over the past couple of years. I find that if I write something down I stop worrying about it. I think that is because it is out there, preserved forever on paper, something tangible that I can come back to. Something I can look over an analyse when it life turns the full circle and I have that experience again. How did I deal with this last time?
Having the time to just sit and write page after page was something I missed with a deep aching – as though I had had a limb removed, after I had my children. That constant need and the fog of tiredness that renders your brain like jelly. Able to stare into the distance in the 5 minutes that you aren’t thinking about what you need to do next.
Or being interuppted by one of the children spilling their drink.
Oh for the joy of Motherhood….and the loss of small things in those early hazy years.
What did you miss most in those first few years of being a Mama?