The concept of supporting friends through tough times has caught my attention recently due to a couple of sad stories in the news recently about Mothers who have met with misfortune. The first was a story in the news about a young mother in Canberra who was murdered, leaving behind three young children. The second was the story in the paper last Tuesday about the 2 year old who survived 5 days alone in a house after her mother passed away after having a seizure. Both stories so so sad, two young women whose lives were cut tragically short.
I wondered about these two women – especially the second one. I wondered whether these girls had good friends. Friends who care about them and check up on them if something doesn’t seem quite right. Good girl friends who think about them often and wonder if they are doing OK today?
I have a few friends who manage Post-Natal Depression as part of their daily mothering challenge. I think about these friends daily – when they are doing well, when they are doing not so well. if they are having a time when they are doing not so well I’ll often send them a quick message on facebook or via text to see if they are having a good day or want to catch up for a coffee.. Part of being a friend is offering out that hand of support by just being there.
If I hadn’t heard from one of these friends via at least one of the many communication methods we have in our modern lives – I might start to worry.
Modern Communication – A help or Hinder to building friendships
The friendships we make as we get older seem to be different and I don’t know if it is due to the isolation of modern times. It is interesting because we have so many forms of communication available to us and yet it can be so superficial that we don’t know if the girls we catch up for coffee with week to week have a potentially life threatening medical condition. We may not get to know that quiet girl from mothers group well enough to find out that her partner is abusive and controlling. So connected, yet so isolated.
Those women who we get paired up with in Mother’s Groups at the most vulnerable time of our lives when we are struggling to learn how to cope with a newborn, the girls who will give us hugs and warm words when we burst into tears after a week of particularly bad sleepless nights, the girls who we cry for and with over lost babes. All the emotional ups and downs that we face at this challenging time of our life. The women who we barely know and yet who become so important to us week to week as we seek escape from the isolation of new motherhood.
And sometimes those relationships remain so superficial.
I urge you to reach out with love to those girlfriends who may not be your best friend and get to know them just that little bit better. You never know when that little bit of love might make a big difference in another mama’s life.
::Daily Meditation:: Close your eyes and do a 5 minute scan of your whole body – note any muscles that you are holding tense and consciously relax them.. Breath slowly and pay attention to your breath.
Ola Happy Mama! II know that you are probably feeling overwhelmed by that basket of washing and the kids are driving you nuts. But try and find 5 minutes to sit in silence and reflect today. Find quiet and peace and rest within yourself and congratulate on the amazing job you do each day – you deserve it!